It is important that you acknowledge and accept the negative feelings you have been having. Bearing in mind the lack of guidance and knowledge of what to do, which both of you have had to cope with, it is understandable that you should have felt frustrated; not only with your partner or friend, but also with yourself. Hopefully, this article will have started to give them some insight to help them move forward. Gradually you might begin to feel the impact of this positive change. It will provide you with the opportunity to take more positive action, which might help relieve your sense of anger and frustration at not knowing what to do for the best.

Perhaps the first thing to realize is that the anxiety attacks belong to the person who experiences them. Although you can play an important part in helping him or her to find ways to bring them to an end, you are not the person responsible for the attacks; they are.
After reading this article through, they should be aware of this fact by now. Perhaps that makes you feel better already. Shrug off that responsibility; it isn’t yours.

You may have felt that the panic attacks have come to exert a powerful control, not only over your friend or partner but also over your own life. This will undoubtedly have created feelings of resentment. With a new direction in sight, this should now begin to change. Indeed, it must. Panic attacks ought not to be allowed to control anyone, and as your partner begins to find their own sense of control this should gradually come to an end. Certainly it is important for you to continue to do things you want to do, and if they choose not to join in while learning about overcoming anxiety symptoms, it should not affect your decision.

Although the panic attacks don’t belong to you, you are close to the person to whom they do belong, and exert a certain amount of influence. You may have a part to play in the attacks themselves. I’m certainly not saying they are your fault or responsibility: they can’t be, because they’re not yours. But it might be worthwhile taking an honest look at what the attacks mean to you. You may say that you would like to see them go, but in fact they may be serving a useful purpose, of which you are probably not consciously aware. They could be a barrier to other more serious issues which are being avoided. You might unconsciously like someone being dependent on you because of them. That position might make you feel good; it might make you feel wanted. You might even wonder whether you would still be wanted without the excuse of the panic attacks. And although it has been mentioned that panic attacks can exert a certain amount of control over people’s lives, someone having them could provide a means for you to control them and their life, even though you may never have realized it.

These issues may not apply to you, but it is still worthwhile examining what role you play, what the panic attacks mean to you and whether they serve some other purpose. Carl and Stephanie Simonton, in their work with cancer patients, comment that the whole family often has a part to play in the onset of the disease - the family itself has cancer, but just one person ends up with the symptoms.

Tags: anxiety attacks, anxiety symptoms, negative feelings, new direction, overcoming anxiety, panic attacks, powerful control